Forum Itbox

[John Doe]

realitatea cruda dinaintea nuntii...
3 dimineata: te trezesti, transpirata. Petreci urmatoarele 3 ore incercand sa adormi!
6 dimineata: parca (ai vrea sa adormi) iti vine somnul, dar ce pacat, nu mai ai timp...In fata oglinzii constati cu stupoare ca desi in ultimele trei luni ai facut "n" tratamente cosmetice, te-ai bronzat, totusi un cos, timid, ce-i drept a aparut pe fata ta. Asta, bineinteles va da batai de cap make-up artistului...si tie!
6:30 micul dejun. Bineinteles sari peste el, nu ai pofta de mancare. Sau dimpotriva mananci in dorinta de a arata familiei ca esti stapana pe situatie!
7 dimineata. Imbraci rochia de mireasa...Un moment de incantare, doar un moment, pentru ca in urmatorul moment te napadesc ganduri de indoiala: "Oare imi statea mai bine in rochia pe care am vazut-o saptamana trecuta?" sau " Poate ca daca alegeam celalalt model aratam mai slaba..."
7:30 dimineata Desi te-ai chinuit sa dormi cu bigudiurile, dimineata vei constata ca a fost degeaba... Hair-stilistul se va chinui sa-ti "imblanzeasca" niste fire rebele! De cateva luni parul nu ti-a mai stat asa de "razvratit". O fi stiut ca azi e ziua cea mare?
8:30 dimineata. Se apropie momentul sosirii mirelui! Atac de panica! "Oare chiar vreau sa ma marit?" "El sa fie Fat-Frumos?" Te uiti la fotografia lui . Inspiri si expiri adanc. Gata a trecut... sau cel putin asa speri!

[Reclama]

[Airman04061969]

Mda, vad ca JD a invatat ceva din sfaturile "batranului" sau amic, Airman ! Pai vedeti ca se poate ?
Anaisse, "ai dreptate, draga !"
_________________
Bogdan Voicu
("Good judgement comes from experience but experience comes from a lot of (previous) bad judgements").

[John Doe]

[Aneisse]

_________________
Daca dragoste nu e, atunci...sa facem !!! ))
http://theoldjukebox.blogspot.com/

[marius]

hahaaaaa
Mey expertii.....

Eu stiam ceva care vine in contradictoriu cu "ai dreptate, draga"....
Ceva care in contradictoriu cu "ai dreptate" poate forma spiritul si tenacitatea ambilor indivizi "implicati" intr-o casnicie
Iar daca tot am apostrofat "implicati", dc sa nu se cada la un comun de acord profund constientizat de catre ambii parteneri?????, caci doar amundoi sunt implicati....!!!
Sa ii dau dreptate femeii doar pt a-mi urmari "idealul"...e ca si cum as spune ca incerc sa o pun in umbra!
Si de cand se considera barbatii mai "inteligenti" ca femeia????
Hai mey, ... ... ca asta parca tinea de domeniile lui bunicu`

Da-i femeii dreptate atunci cand are, iar daca nu are atunci ajut-o sa iasa din intuneric, pt a evita introducerea inhibarii in relatie si constient, si de asemeni, e valabil si pt barbati!
Vorbiti de femei ca de "potentiali" ....
Iar din alta ordine de idei..... daca nu ar fi femeia, noi astia barbatii, fara gingasia si afectivitatea femeiasca de beneficiem(momentan .....) cred ca am face umbra pamantului doar seara

[Aneisse]

Of, of Marius, mai citeste si tu printre randuri , "da draga" ala era spus cu foarte multa ironie.
_________________
Daca dragoste nu e, atunci...sa facem !!! ))
http://theoldjukebox.blogspot.com/

[marius]

"Bine, draga!"

[Aneisse]

Eh, vezi ce repede ai invatat!?!
_________________
Daca dragoste nu e, atunci...sa facem !!! ))
http://theoldjukebox.blogspot.com/

[mariusc]

intotdeauna e bine cand se termina cu bine, nu ?

[Airman04061969]

# You want = You want

# We need = I want

# It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

# Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

# We need to talk = I need to complain

# Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

# I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

# You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

# You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

# I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

# Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I'm Embarassed

# This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

# I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...

# I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

# Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

# I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

# Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

# How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like

# I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

# Am I a little fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

# You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

# Yes = No

# No = No

# Maybe = No

# I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

# Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

# Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

# I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

# All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books,and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

# Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
_________________
Bogdan Voicu
("Good judgement comes from experience but experience comes from a lot of (previous) bad judgements").

[Airman04061969]

Am fost tras de urechi pentru dictionarul Women-to-English. Uite si varianta Men-to-English:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
Do you want to go to a movie = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I take you out to dinner = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Can I call you sometime = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
Nice dress! = Nice !
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now
I love you, too = Okay, I said it ... We'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = Okay, I said it ... We'd better have sex now!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
Will you marry me? = I want to make it for you to have sex with other guys
(While shopping): I like that one better = Pick any bloody dress and let's go home and have sex!"
_________________
Bogdan Voicu
("Good judgement comes from experience but experience comes from a lot of (previous) bad judgements").

[Airman04061969]

Cred ca o sa renunt la postare pe acest topic. De ce ? We, men, can never win. Here are a few reasons:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.
If you don't, you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're a sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious.
If you're totally beat after a hard day's work, you don't give a damn about other people's needs.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you're oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.
_________________
Bogdan Voicu
("Good judgement comes from experience but experience comes from a lot of (previous) bad judgements").

[Airman04061969]

Pentru ca nu vreau sa fiu acuizat de discriminari si doresc, sincer, ca partenerele noastre sa se bucure de aceeasi apreciere in societate ca si noi, le propun doamnelor si domnisoarelor urmatoarele cursuri:
Astept inscrieri si propuneri suplimentare
1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits

4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game

5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too

6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His

7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First

8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging

10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire

11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up

12. Introduction to Parking

13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space

14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat

15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption

17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

19. PMS: "Poor me syndrome" Your Problem . . . Not His

20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To

21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

25. TV Remotes: For Men Only

26. The Toilet : You can learn to leave the seat up
_________________
Bogdan Voicu
("Good judgement comes from experience but experience comes from a lot of (previous) bad judgements").

[Airman04061969]

A few things about marriage. Enjoy !
1. Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence!).
2. Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music
is over, the strings are attached.
3. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an
institution for the blind.
4. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his
Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
5. Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger
and two under the man's eyes.
6. Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
7. Marriage is not just a having a wife but also worries
inherited forever.
8. Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "RINGS" :
- The Engagement Ring
- The Wedding Ring
- The Suffe-Ring
- The Endu-Ring
9. Married life is full of excitement and frustration :
- In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the
woman listens.
- In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
- In the third year, they BOTH speak and the NEIGHBOURS
listen.
10. It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an
eye-opener.
11. Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant
with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what
the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
12. It's true that all men are born free and equal - but some of
them get MARRIED!
13. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church
and found himself married. A year later he muttered
something in his sleep and found himself divorced.
14. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the
husband gives and the wife takes.
15. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China, a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!
16. There was a man who said, "I never knew what happiness was
until I got married.... and then it was too late!"
17. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm
clock.
18. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before
marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defence.
19. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when
a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
20. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell
for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.
_________________
Bogdan Voicu
("Good judgement comes from experience but experience comes from a lot of (previous) bad judgements").

[tuffgirl]

Good one Bogdane
_________________
Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish.

- Quintilian, De Institutione Oratoria

[Reclama]