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Airman04061969 · Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 7:19 am Post subject: Beware of !

Diary of a

Housewife
Day 1.

Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2.

Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know.
Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.

Day 3.

This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument and burst into tears.

Day 4.

A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem.' It's called

. I told him that if he takes

, things would be just like they were on our wedding night. I think this will work.
I replaced his Prozac with the

, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5.

What absolute bliss!

Day 6.

Isn't life wonderful but it's difficult to write while he's doing that.

Day 7.

This

thing has gone to his head. No pun intended!
Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. But, I have to admit it's very nice - I don't think I've ever been so happy.

Day 8.

I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed whacker. I'm also getting a bit sore down there.

Day 9.

No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10.

Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's washing the

down with neat whisky! What am I going to do? I feel tacky all over...
Day 11.

I'm basically being screwed to death. It's like living with a Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed. Even my armpits hurt. He's a complete pig.

Day 12.

I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing make-up, cleaning my teeth or even washing but he still keeps coming after me!
Even yawning has become dangerous...
Day 13.

Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" thing again, I'll kill the bastard.

Day 14.

I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun but this just seems to make him hornier. Help me.

Day 15.

I think I'll have to kill him. I'm starting to stick to everything I sit on. The cat and dog won't go near him and our friends don't come over any more. Last night I told him to go and f**k himself and he did.

Day16.

The bastard has started to complain about headaches. I hope the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the

and going back on Prozac.
Day 17.

Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference...Christ! Here he comes again.

Day 18.

He's back on Prozac. The lazy sod just sits there in front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and expects me to do everything for him. What absolute bliss!
_________________
Bogdan Voicu
("Good judgement comes from experience but experience comes from a lot of (previous) bad judgements").

Reclama

Aurasmic · membru Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 74 Location: Bucuresti

Vorbeste din proprie experienta, banuiesc ! Razz

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Da, mai, sunt nevasta-sa lui Airman !

marius · Marius Joined: 29 Oct 2003 Posts: 4654 Location: :-)

airman?
Ai confundat sectiunea cu English, sau ai inceput si tu sa spam-uiesti?

Airman04061969 · Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2005 9:03 am Post subject:

Mey,

are legatura cu sexul, deci nu sunt off-topic ! Si ce daca e in engleza, unde scrie ca "English is not allowed"? Ti-am spus eu ca ai turbat si ai inceput sa musti, dar nu vrei sa ma crezi ! LOL

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Bogdan Voicu
("Good judgement comes from experience but experience comes from a lot of (previous) bad judgements").

marius · Marius Joined: 29 Oct 2003 Posts: 4654 Location: :-)

Nu vrei sa ne si traduci?

Si inca un "semn de turbare"...
Te-ai intrebat dc la sectiunea "English" este permis doar engleza?
Dc anume sectiune in engleza?

Si ca sa devin ontopic...
Tu vorbesti despre

din proprie....????? Shocked

tuffgirl · Posted: Thu Jun 16, 2005 2:13 am Post subject:

Acum vorbind serios s-a constat ca cei care folosesc

i-shi pierd vederea Rolling Eyes

Pe bune , fara gluma.
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Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish.

- Quintilian, De Institutione Oratoria

Anne · Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 11:18 pm Post subject:

asta cu orbitul n-am auzit-o ... stii mai demult se zicea ca masturbarea orbeste sau ca-ti creste par pe mana LOL

eu am gasit ca

nu trebuie folosita niciodata de catre pacientii care iau medicamente pe baza de nitrati . acestea contin nitroglicerina si daca se combina cu

tensiunea scade pana la un nivel in care iti pune in pericol viata.cel in cauza poate ameti , lesina sau avea un infarct.

nu este un hormon sau un afrodisiac si trebuie folosit doar de cei cu disfunctie erectila sub supraveghere medicala.
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tuffgirl · Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:20 pm Post subject:

Anne ai dreptate cu pericolele care vin cu

. Chestia cu pierdutul vederii a fost un studiu efectuat de o universitate de pe aici.
Cand se spunea ca orbesti de la masturbat asta a fost doar o prostie sa sperie pe copii shi bineintzeles ca nu e adevarat. LOL

_________________
Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish.

- Quintilian, De Institutione Oratoria

Anne · Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 11:51 pm Post subject:

si eu credeam ca de la asta port ochelari ... bine ca m-am lamurit LOL

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