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[tuffgirl]

Men Are Just Happier People



NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,

Kate and Sarah .

If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other

as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.



EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even

though it's only for $32.50.

None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they

want change back.

When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.



MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.



BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving

cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Wal Mart.

The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.

A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.



ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.



CATS

Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.



f**

A woman worries about the f** until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the f** until he gets a wife.



SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.



MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.



DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins,

answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.



NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.

She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite

foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
_________________
Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish.

- Quintilian, De Institutione Oratoria

[Reclama]

[tuffgirl]

A Jewish lady says to her mother,

'I'm divorcing Sheldon! All he wants

is anal s*x, and my as***ole is now

the size of a 50 cent piece when it

used to be the size of a dime.'



Mother says, 'You're married to a

multi-millionaire businessman, you

live in a mansion, you drive a

Ferrari,

you get $10,000 a week allowance,

you take 6 vacations a year, and you

want to throw all that away for 40 cents?
_________________
Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish.

- Quintilian, De Institutione Oratoria